Christians who get up in arms about their faith being challenged and holler in a knee-jerk reaction about their Charter Rights often fail to recognize that they are not being asked to change their faith or to stop living it out. They are simply being asked to engage with their faith, to pause and understand why they believe what they believe and examine how they are living our their beliefs so they can own their faith having reasoned through it rather than living out another human’s instructions on how to live a life of faith that they have accepted without question.
Our beliefs are the foundation for every decision we make and tangible action we take in life and whether we have reasoned through those beliefs or not can have a dramatic impact on how we react when surprised, whether we regurgitate what we have heard someone else say or respond in a way reflective of who we genuinely want to be and the faith we want to live out. And how we react when surprised by the unexpected is often when our reactions count the most. Engaging with and reasoning through our faith can make the difference between a surprised parent who thought their child was straight disowning their son or daughter in an impassioned fit or putting on a fresh pot of coffee and listening with love to their child’s story of having felt different and afraid of saying so for years. It can make the difference between a student who is afraid they have a sexually transmitted infection being able to process their fears out loud with a friend who acts as a caring sounding board about life choices or sneaking to a clinic appointment for a test with limited other life supports to prevent repeating the experience. The difference between two students navigating an unplanned pregnancy in a supportive academic community or the mother dropping out of school because she is treated with shame and judgment or the professors are unequipped to accommodate parents with newborns.
“I was walking along the banks of the Rideau River, enjoying the beautiful day when I saw two lesbians kissing. So I pushed them in.”
~ A “joke” I once heard told from the pulpit. The congregation had a good laugh.
Redeemer University has a first-year course entitled Intro to Reformed Worldview (a reference to their identification with the Christian Reformed Church) in which students this past academic year heard a lecture to the effect that ‘to side with anything queer is falling prey to the world’s narrative and rejecting God’. This is a required CORE class for all students.
In Christian circles, it is not unusual for a default example of ‘sinners’ to include references to unwed mothers.
Take a moment to think about this. How many unmarried, pregnant students attend Redeemer? To think students do not have sex or get pregnant because they signed a lifestyle contract is foolish. Students who have sex and feel conflicted and need someone to talk to often stay silent out of fear the school could find out and they will be punished. Facing judgment rather than knowing there is support, pregnant students in Christian schools often simply don’t return the next semester or complete their studies at that institution and may even consider abortion to avoid exposure to a school, church, or family they fear will judge them. Because pregnancy is visible, lifestyle contracts disproportionately punish women. Whether intended or not, the reality is that Redeemer’s practice of requiring students to sign a Lifestyle Contract fails to recognize the broader cultural impact such contracts create within a student and staff body and an update to providing Lifestyle Supports instead is long overdue.
Lifestyle Supports equally encourage biblical living while providing tools that equip people to make biblical choices without reserving the contractual right to punish those who make other choices or make mistakes.
Lifestyle supports can include openly providing education opportunities about sexual health (physical, mental, and spiritual), support groups for LGBTQ2A+ students, and having open resources in place (not just confidential ones) where students who need to process a choice they’ve made can do so or where they can find help navigating the outcomes. Many such supports are available for students now, but the culture created by the lifestyle contract causes many students to feel ashamed and afraid of the school and their peers (who also signed the contract) finding out. The school has actively pushed some students into the shadows, denying the existing LGBTQ2A+ support group the ability to communicate its existence to the broader student body through school channels available to other student groups to alert students of their existence. This choice appears to have been made based on the students’ sexual orientation, gender identity, or gender expression. If so, this would be a violation of provincial (See Freedom From Discrimination – Services) and federal (See Discriminatory Practices) human rights laws regarding equal access to services. The school could again argue it has Charter Rights but will find itself on shaky ground because the group counts as a mental health resource for a vulnerable population at high risk of suicide, and without the ability to openly tell students this community of understanding peers exists there are LGBTQ2A+ students who think they are alone (increasing the risk of suicide).
SIDE NOTE: As a straight woman, if the tables were turned and the church were telling me that it’s unbiblical for me to be attracted to men and that I can only marry and have sex with another woman, I would find that deeply distressing and would want to be able to talk with safe people in a safe space about why God made me attracted to men if He wasn’t okay with that. What would you want or need as a straight person if the tables were turned and your sexuality was considered unbiblical?
Whether having had sex outside of marriage, wondering if they’re pregnant, asking why God would make them non-binary if He thinks being non-binary is wrong, or fearing their parents will disown them if they say who they are really attracted to, many students end up navigating their crisis in the shadows, only feeling safe talking to the campus doctor or a counselor. When school-provided health professionals are the only safe people to talk to because they are required to protect the confidentiality of the patients and clients they serve then, like at many Christian institutions, a false sense of accomplishment is created, it seems like the lifestyle contract is working when it isn’t!